Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 26: The sound of inspiration

As I sit here on the plane from Los Angeles to Minneapolis, I first thank God for the nap he just gave me, which is fairly rare on airplanes.  I napped somewhere between an hour and an hour and a half.  The strange part is that I slept about 8 hours last night, I guess I'm still making up for the 90 minutes or so the previous night :).  Staying in L.A. Last night makes me think that maybe part of my sleeping problem is volume.  Volume is not a "thing" in my life.  I'm a visual person.  I raised 4 kids, I don't think I really heard much from them (maybe I just learned to toon them out early, cause kids are loud), I lived on a busy street at the University of Minnesota when I went to college (amongst other places while in college that were not so quiet), I play poker for a part time job, and most of the time I don't even notice the sounds in the casinos, and when I go to sleep, I like the tv on, and I set the sleep to turn it off after I fall asleep.  My husband prefers the tv off, so either I attempt to get to sleep before him...although lately he's been good about going to sleep while its on (maybe I'm retraining him and didn't even know it :).  

When my husband and I got married, I moved from the cities (and a rather large suburb) to a rural area, and our home was in the woods with acres of no one...therefore very quiet.  I had great intentions for living there, I was gonna live secluded, and do all the projects  I always wanted to do.  Well other than yes I did start that 1st house, not much got done.  I had no studio in this house, and infact really no place to set one up where I felt inspired and that worked.   We sold the house, to prepare for a job move (O' man is that a L O N G fact it's sooooooo L O N G we are still only probably in chapter 6 or 7 of it and we have no idea how long the book is)....but the Cliff Note version skips to about chapter 5 or so, we moved to LasVegas.  We settled into this amazing condo, it (it being the grounds and community) is amazing.  The pool is spectacular, it's gated and safe and.....quiet!  Well except for a small dog that ever since it got to be turn off the AC and open the windows weather, I have learned about.  Anyway, I love our condo!  We chose a 2 bedroom (we have to have a place for guests :) but really it's a studio and work space (the guests get one of those fancy schmancy plug into the wall huge-ass blow up air mattress's with the memory foam's actually amazingly comfortable.  But the best part, when we don't have guests, you'd never know its a guest room.  I spend hours in this room every day.  I'm soo crazy inspired in Las Vegas and in our condo that I don't leave somedays till I have to for something...not joking, I couldn't even tell you what it's like outside a lot of days till I decide to get some fresh air about 5 or 6pm and go grab the mail, and then I'm like, wow I think it was a gorgeous day and I missed it, but I didn't, cause it was just amazing inside :) 

Even with all this wonderful, I still have a problem....maybe my mother was right, I will never be content, (well that's a first, I haven't actually had anything to say about that person that's been nice in years...but she and her evil ways  are another story, and since I try to focus on good and happy, I'll just honor the commandments by keeping quiet about that horrible women....don't think bad of me, it's just a fact of life that A) not all moms are good and 2) I guess not all people are born with the ability to unconditionally love others.... I don't get it, I can't imagine not loving my kids and husband as much as I fact sometimes I can feel the love grow again and then I'm like wow, where is this new love gonna go, but then it always seems to fit, in fact  lots of times it inspires even more growth...its like the most amazing circle :). 

Where was I?  O yes, sleeping!  I cannot sleep!  The only nights I get quantity and quality, is when I have taken something or I'm just beyond the point of functioning, cause I'm soo over tired.  Last night, in a busy area, where I could hear lots of outside traffic, sirens, people, etc, I slept awesome.  I sometimes would hear something, almost feel comforted by it and doze into a deeper sleep, and I love that feeling where you know your sleeping, you think your waking up, then you drift back off.  Such a cool feeling.  Now maybe I was just that over tired last night???  But it's poised a big question to me, do I sleep better in a louder environment?  Did I mention that while I'm working on projects all day, I don't have a tv or radio on?  In fact there isn't either in the studio room.  So maybe the noise I need when I go to sleep is what it takes to switch my brain off?  But, I do love waking up to who the heck knows, and why am I writing this and more I importantly, why are you still reading it?  

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