Day 95: I'd rather kick myself than wonder

I've always been a "I'd rather kick myself than wonder" person

This HAS got me into some trouble at times.....ok more than a few times!

However it has also been a large contributor to how much 

I get out of life.  To digress a bit (since I haven't done that in a while), 

have I ever shared with you my "Wish List"?  

Well to actually share the list with you would be very difficult at this time, 

it's currently over 4200 items long!  

It's NOT my bucket list, in fact I hate that term.  Curious as to why?

Well it doesn't matter if your curious or not, cause I'm gonna tell you and if you

don't care, then I guess you can scroll past all this and get to looking at the pictures, 

however you will miss why these pictures are being posted, but maybe you don't care why,

maybe you just want to look at them, and that is so ok!

Where was I? O' yes, bucket list.  

You see I started my Wish List in 1998 while on a work trip to New York City,

I was out wondering (LOVE NY!) and happened upon this little (but thick)

book called Wish List, I instantly fell in love with it and bought it.

That very night I started going through it, 

highlighting the things I have done on the list 

(because just checking the box didn't seem bold enough, highlighting made

those items stand out).  

Also in the book were lines to write in items.  So here and there I'd

add an item.  Well the book was great, but after a few years of having it, 

the intensity in which I'm organized kicked in and the little book wasn't enough, 

it also was someone else's list that I was merely mirroring.  

So I decided to type the list onto a spreadsheet, that way I could

search for items without looking through the entire list and modify, etc. 

I used the spreadsheet for a few years, and the list continued to grow, 

every time I read of a place or thing or something amazing, 

I added it to my list.

Then in 2007 the movie The Bucket List came out, and everyone jumped on this

new trend of having a bucket list.  I don't always like trends, 

they can feel so impersonal at times.  

I rejected seeing the movie on principle 

(sometimes I'm stubborn for dumb reasons, I know.)

Well in roughly Jan of 2010 I had a grand idea, I should print out my list and have it

bound into a book annually, that way I would have a cool history of the list

as it evolved, got completed, etc.  

I don't really know anything about bookbinding, so I set out to do what I do, 

learn just enough to do something half-ass!

Ironically, when I sat down to write this today, 

that was my original direction,  but I'll get back to that. 

I looked into taking some classes on bookbinding, 

and found a great option, but the class wasn't offered again for a while 

and quite frankly, money was soo tight that I really couldn't afford it.

Then something happened, something that always happens to me, 

usually super late at night when I'm trying to go to sleep, I had a cool idea.  

What if....I reused an old book cover and spine?  

I'm a thrift store junky, so I went and did some investigating, 

and found the perfect thing!

Remember the old kids encyclopedia type books put out by about everyone in the 60's and 70's (maybe even earlier), they are hardcover and they would have like a bunch of volumes?  

Well they fit a sheet of paper about perfect, so I grabbed one, took it home, carefully removed the pages, inserted my own and recovered it with my unique style.  The 1st few volumes are actually in storage in the states, but I have the last 2 years with me year in KL, 

so I guess I could just show you them.

This was 2012

This is 2013

Here's a glimpse inside.

WOW....I digressed soo far I have no idea where I was even initially going with this.  

Not gonna lie, I had to reread the first paragraph to remember, but to finish up this tangent, 

this is NOT a bucket list, it has nothing to do with my dying, it has everything to do with my living!  

If your still reading, stay with me, 

I'm going to attempt to circle back around to where I started, Actually I'm going to 

attempt to head in the initial direction.

I'd rather kick myself than wonder, 

I've always said I would try anything..at least twice!

This is sorta a lie, I won't try a lot of foods and if an animal is involved

at all, there is a good chance I'm doing it 

(especially anything that scurries or slithers).  

There will never be a picture of me with a boa around my shoulders!

With all this being said, I'm a hypocrite!

Well kinda.  You see I look at how I look at life and how I live it and 

I feel like I should have no regrets, and yet I have some regrets.

Here's what I regret.......

Not figuring out when I was younger that I really could become "professionally" anything I wanted.

Being lazy all the times I said I didn't have the time or money to take a class I wanted to.

I should have figured out a way to make things happen!

Not utilizing my time and my talents to the best of my ability.

Not getting my degree in Interior Design, even after I figured out a way to pay for it.

Not learning to weld or become a cabinet maker via the community college

Not learning more about graphic design

Not learning more about photography

and a handful of crap I put my kids through in life, but those can also be 

seen as "learning moments" for their lives, so....life happens :)

Ya know what's cool about my list of regrets?

Most I can still change :)

Lately the 2 things on this list that have been bothering me the most are the 

graphic design and photography regrets. 

I know just enough about both subjects to....fumble through.

So how does all this relate to my miniature hobby?

I want to create my own stuff, (like the boxes for the retro toys) but

I don't know how, and I get frustrated with myself when I try to learn.

I want to take great pictures of my projects, but I seem to always be screwing up

the lighting, or the angle, or whatever.  

Also, once I have a bunch of pictures, I have huge difficulty

narrowing them down to sharing just a few.

Are you still reading?

Why?  :)

I feel I've driven you out in the country, asked you to go grab an apple off a tree

and now I've going to speed off leaving you stranded.

Below are photographs of a project I'm continually working on.  

And continually struggling to photograph to my liking!

If you look at the picture above and the picture below, 

you will see 1 difference...see it?

It's the lamp from A Christmas Story, 

that was the extent of my Christmas decorating

this year....in our entire condo!

In case your curious, I did finally see the movie The Bucket List

in 2012 or 2013...I like it :) 

Also, can you name the movie the line "I'd rather kick myself than wonder" came from?